When I grow up.....

Driving to work this morning I thought to myself, I love asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up, because you know, I'm still looking for ideas.  When I was in elementary school I always thought I'd be a teacher.  When I was in high school I wanted to be a photographer or a photo journalist.  After I had Kid #1 I thought maybe I'll work at a bank (obviously needed to aim higher).  Right before Kid #3, while I was working as a 911 Operator and Police Dispatcher I thought (for a brief second) I wanted to be a police officer.  Upon arrival of Kid #3, that was a glimmer in my mind and figured I would be a stay-at-home mom.  Apparently that did not last long.  I still debate what I want to be when I grow up and have even thought that by the time I retire I might actually figure it out.

I decided to ask my children what they wanted to be when they grow up.  Sade wants to be a photographer.  A child after her mother's heart!  She would be good at it, but I hate to tell her she'll be living with her parents for the rest of her life.  Alyx said she wants to be a cook.  I'm pretty sure she means a professional chef, not a McDonald's cook.  I can deal with that...she's a good cook.  She loves to help me cook and she actually does really well.  Maybe she will live somewhere cool like New York or L.A.  Then her mom, with a budding career during retirement, could come visit.  A.J. says he wants to play in the NFL or be a "NFL writer".  I don't have the hear to tell my 7 year old that not many kids grow up to play professional football.  Maybe he should stick with sports writing or commentating.  Based on his gene pool he's most likely not going to be 6'3" and 250 lbs, more like 5'9".    I have always been scared one of my kids will want to be a police officer (even more scared they will want to be a fireman) but the likelihood is probably pretty good.  I can deal with it now, I guess.  I just want my children to succeed.  Much like my mom wanted us to succeed.   I think I've done pretty well, but still exploring my post-retirement options.  Yes mother, one day I will be that photographer you still tell me I should be! 

I had kids so someone else would have to clean my house!

Summer is amazing! I start off by saying this because my kids are home all day.  What do they do all day you ask?  Well - watch tv, eat, watch a movie, eat, throw dirty clothes on the floor and not in the basket, eat, watch more tv, eat....you get the general picture.  This morning all four of the kids were home.  Lovely I say.  I got up at 4:30 a.m. (when Jeff was making his way out the door to work), I went to the gym, came home to make breakfast, switch laundry over and get ready to go to work.  I decided I was going to make a list of chores for each kid to do.  It was simple!

Alyx 
1.  load and start dishwasher
2.  bring your clothes up from laundry table and put away
3. clean up after yourself!

Sade
1. unload dishwasher before going to Nana's
2. take laundry downstairs and switch load over

Connor
1. bring clothes up from laundry table and put away (correctly..not just thrown in a drawer)
2. pick up room so I can vacuum when I get home

A.J.
1.  same as Connor and pick up after yourself today do not make Sade do it for you

Simple right?  At 12:30 p.m. texts between me and Sade (I preface this with the fact I refer to my children sometimes by number of "birth order")

Me- "What's everyone doing?"
Sade - "2 and 4 are in their room playing a game and 1 and 3 are in their room picking up everything"
Me - "Well 2 and 4 better get their sh*t done too or its not gonna be pretty"
Sade - "K.  I was trying 2 C if done w/parts but not cooperating/listening"
Me - "Tell them (nicely) if they don't have it done in the next 30 mins I'm gonna call and they will be grounded from the tv & video games"
Sade - "LOL.  Nicely? jk"
Me - "Yes, you say nicely - mom said......."
Sade - "LOL okay."

Needless to say my lunch hour was consumed with calling to see if 2 and 4 had done their chores!

FYI - If you ever think about having four kids...come to my house for a couple of hours!

How? How? How? Why? Why? Why?

Yesterday, when leaving work my sister called me and we were discussing how much I love my job.  I probably don't have to explain how I mean that sarcastically.  During my 20 minute rant on how I basically do nothing productive, worthwhile or relatively important all day - my other line rang four times.  Yes, four times!  When I was done complaining and got off the phone I checked my phone.  Missed calls were from a friend, unknown number, my house, and my husband. 

First call I make - my house.  This was the conversation:

Me - "Did someone call me?"
Alyx - "Yes, I did.  When are you going to be home and what is for dinner?"
Me - "I get home the same time everyday Alyx.  Why didn't you ask Jeff ?"
Alyx - "Jeff isn't home."
Me - "What? He's not home?"
Alyx - "Nope, he left."

Second call I make to the unknown number.  It was A.J.'s football coach telling me the first practice is going to be Sunday from 9:30 a.m. to 11:30 a.m. 

Third, phone call is to my friend.  She was letting me know her son's birthday party is Saturday at 2 p.m.

Fourth call to my husband.  Goes like this:

Me - "Where are you?"
Jeff - "I'm on the couch."
Me - "Alyx just told me you were not home."
Jeff - "Well it might help if she left her bedroom more than once a day.  She might know I'm right here."
Me - "Wow, because she wanted to know when I was coming home and what is for dinner."
Jeff - "Ok? And what is for dinner?"

LOVE MY LIFE!

Stay tuned for Saturday's blog.   We've been invited to three birthday parties, I have a meeting at 10 a.m. and Alyx's birthday party will be at 6 p.m.  I think we'll be skipping a couple of birthday parties!

15 Year High School Reunion

Dinner at Houlihan's before we went to our 15 year high school reunion.

Officially feeling old after a night of dinner and drinking with my girls from our 15 year high school reunion.  We started at 5pm at Houlihan's, which I suggested might not be a good idea, and then off to our big reunion.  Well, not so big reunion I guess but more people than I thought I suppose.  We had fun and I think Jeff & I left around 12:30 a.m.  Needless to say we didn't wake up until after 11 a.m.   Old age really isn't so great.  Recovery time takes so much longer after the age of 30.  Just a warning...just sayin'

To tired to think......

When your day starts out at 6 a.m. no wonder a mom gets so exhausted she can't keep her eyes open.  People ask me all the time how I manage 4 kids.  Today my answer is, heck if I know!  Woke up at 6:30 a.m. on a "vacation day" to take the boys to football camp.  I woke them up, showered, got ready, got the boys breakfast, reminded them to brush their teeth & get dressed (like I really need to tell them that) and then drove them to football camp.  Sat at camp from 8 a.m. to Noon.  Jeff arrived around 10:30 a.m. stayed because I had to leave to get Sade to the eye doctor (which was a complete disaster), pick up Alyx from a friend's house, take Jeff to the dealership to pick up his truck and by the time I got home at 3 p.m. I had a massive headache and was exhausted.  No one explains this part of your life when you have kids...how do we manage?  Today I can't answer that for you, because it is 7:53 p.m. and I'm so tired I can barely function.  Watching a movie on the couch with my Alyx and drinking leftover sangria from the Fourth of July sounds much better.  Maybe I should just go to bed instead!

What did you say to me?

While eating lunch with my cousin at a very noisy Jimmy John's I get a call from Jeff.  Went something like this -

Sara - "Hello?"
Jeff - "Can you hear me?"  *very noisy in the background*
Sara - "No, I'm at Jimmy John's with Amanda.  I'll call you back."

Jeff calls me back - obviously didn't hear me say I can't hear him.

Jeff - "Can you hear me now?"
Sara - "Yes, I'm eating lunch what are you doing?"
Jeff - "I got fired."
Sara - "WHAT? You got fired or laid off?"
Jeff - "I got fired!  I  hit a guy at work."
Sara - "WHAT? SERIOUSLY?"
Jeff - "No.  Just kidding, I quit." *laughing hysterically*
Sara - "WHAT?  YOU QUIT?"
Jeff - "Yes, I start a new job on Monday." *still laughing hysterically*
Sara - "Ok.  I'm going to call you back after I eat lunch."  *not laughing*

Husband thinks he is funny!  Good thing he is cute.

Sh*tty Situation......

A typical Wednesday night - no kids and the entire  night to myself!  Awesome!  My plan - go home to change into workout clothes, go to Target to buy shampoo, conditioner and female products we can't live without, head off to the gym, and then call Jeff on the way home to see what he wants for dinner (even though I already know the answer - meatball sub from Subway).  As I get home, Jeff is there with the tech from DirectTV, because the last time he went to Best Buy he had to purchase something and apparently our DishNetwork was not good enough (a story for another day).  It did not look like it was going well.  So, I hurry to change clothes, tell Jeff I'm leaving to Target, ask if he needs anything and tell him I'll call when I'm done at the gym to see what is for dinner.  I make it to Target, purchase all the list items, and a few other things.  As I get back to my car I think, do I really want to go to the gym?  Of course not, so I decide to go shopping.  My 15 year high school reunion is Saturday and Lord knows I have nothing to wear.  I go inside the mall, drag myself into the Buckle (mistake #1), spend way to much money (mistake #2) on clothes I probably won't wear in 6 months (mistake #3), walk back to my car with this sick feeling I shouldn't have just went to the gym, and as I approach my car see purple bird crap ALL OVER the hood of my car.  Let me emphasize this had to be a very large bird.  I have NEVER seen this much bird crap in my life and it was PURPLE.  Really?  Now I'm really sick!  I call Jeff to see what he wants for dinner, shocking - Subway.  I drag myself there and when I get home I tell him to go check out my car.  He comes back upstairs laughing, "Did a taradactyl crap on your car?"  I'm so glad you find it amusing Mr. Ruch!  I think someone was trying to tell me something...stick with your Plan ...you should have taken your rear to the gym instead of shopping (don't tell my husband I said that..he already thinks I have plenty of clothes).

Conversation with a 7 year old

Immediately after I posted my first blog and said stay tuned........

A.J. calls me at work, on my cell phone not the work phone. He asked me if I was having fun at work. I laughed and said, "well of course". A.J. chuckles and so poignantly states, "Who would buy a job they don't like?" I just had to laugh at the thought of buying myself a new job. Then he goes into a 5 minute rant "I just wanted to tell you hi since I didn't see you before you left this morning. I was still asleep. Why didn't you wake me up to tell me bye? I'm playing on my video game and the car is black. Alyx made fun of me. We cleaned up my room. What time is dad picking us up today? What time do you get home?" Which question do you answer first? I love my son, he's the cutest thing and obviously the apple did not fall far from the tree. My mother would say, he sounds like Sara.

Start of a blog.....

It was today that I decided to start my blog. You can thank the many hours of phone conversions with my family and friends describing the latest escapade in our house. Which is also the reason for my title, Insanity and Hilarity Ensues. I can not begin to explain how much I adore my children, however anyone who knows us can tell you my children are hilarious. How I've kept my sanity is beyond me, other than maybe my husband (who is also quite hilarious) keeps me grounded. I've even joked that "if it's funny, you are most likely not in trouble".

So, it is today I will start my venture of blogging. Family and friends keep posted for the stories you so long to hear. If you ever need a laugh you know where to find us.